Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
