and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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