We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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