when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
