How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
