we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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