I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
