There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
