i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
