I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
