I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
