I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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