Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
