THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
