Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize