ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
