ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
