the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
