Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
