I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
