NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
