question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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