Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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