Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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