pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
