If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
