I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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