my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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