Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
