Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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