OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
