I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
