dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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