just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
