and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
