I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up under a house in Key West
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