Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
