talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
