Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
