i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
