One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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