i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
