I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Boobs are out for the taking
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
