I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
