Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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