Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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