great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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