Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
