Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
