If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
