Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
