I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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