I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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