2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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