She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
