it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
