I hate your face
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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