Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
