Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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