Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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