So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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