bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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