do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
