Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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