did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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