i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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