oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
