okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
