I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
