is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
