cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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