Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
